Party Like It's 1939

ER  hosting Easter egg hunt at White House

     It was my belief that back in the Great Depression there was a lot more generosity going around than at any time in my life.   The 70's were "me" focused and fashion challenged.  The 90's brought the scourge of greed and technology.  The millennium and 9/11--the world's axis shifted, and nothing has been the same since.  

     But whenever my parents, aunts, and uncles--second generation Americans--spoke about the Great Depression in which they grew up, they always mentioned people's generosity.  They didn't gloss over the hardships.  But stories of sharing and invention abounded.  So you can understand why the 1930s, as grueling as they were, still stand out in my mind as kinder days than those I've lived through.  Until now.

     While greed and indifference exist in abundance to be sure, I am heartened by what doesn't make the headlines because, as they say in the news biz, it doesn't bleed.  I am seeing a lot of caring folks in the world who make a difference for the better.  And I try daily to amplify that generosity every chance I get.  Life is beautiful when I do.  I sport a perpetual smile on my face, and other shoppers respond in kind.  I stop and talk to strangers for no good reason other than to connect with them for a moment, and they light up.  I do things I love, saying "yes!" to people ask to use my talents.  It proves to me that how we show up in the world actually affects our environment.  So how do we want to do that?  With cynicism?  Fear?  Suspicion?  Exhaustion?  

     If you read my last blog (you did read it, didn't you?), you know I am imperfect.  But I'm telling you, the extra effort I make to show up as my better angel is paying off.  My friend Audrey Lin echoes this experience.  At a recent conference, she was losing energy.  The trip, the sitting, the shlepping of stuff, all the talk talk talk.  So she and a friend decided to perform random acts of kindness.  As she enthusiastically describes it in a recent blog posting of her own: 

“As we went around giving out snacks, something shifted, in me and in the people we were interacting with. Suddenly, it was as if we were all becoming family. Giving out snacks, giving group hugs, learning each others' names-- there is something powerful about connecting over kindness rather than connecting over a project or ideology or agenda. When you connect with someone over an act of kindness, you make a heart-to-heart connection--a human connection-- that is a reflection and reminder of the human spirit. Of our interconnectedness!”

(Read more)

     So given all I've told you, you are hereby invited to a virtual party!  I invite you to commit random acts of kindness for the next few days.  You don't have to volunteer in a soup kitchen or write out a check.  Just pay attention!  Yes, that means getting off your devices--and you know I'm all for that.  What is going on around you that allows you to make a moment of positive impact?  Carry little toys in your pocket for restless children in a doctor's office.  In a check-out line turn around and compliment someone on her scarf.   Walk around your street and pick up garbage.  Need more ideas?  Go to HelpOthers.org, a great website!
     Then--THEN--come back here and tell us what you did, and what the experience did for you.  If you do this often enough, you'll notice how you are transforming.  You are becoming a change agent in the world.  But you have to come back and comment about it, or we won't have a party.  And you don't want to be a party pooper, do you?  In fact, forward this posting and bring others along with you.
     Just think.  If this were 1939, you might be sharing sugar rations or tomatoes from your victory garden.  Gee, isn't it swell?  Everything old is new again.  

Pax tecum.

 

     

It's not Brain Surgery

     This past week I have been beside myself with excitement.  I get to interview a world-renowned neurosurgeon and researcher, an inventor of medical devices, a major philanthropist, and a promoter of peace, compassion, and altruism.  And it's all the same person!  I needed to research our guest and the credits to his name are jaw dropping.  This man is changing the world one patient at a time, one research project at a time, one blog at a time, one conference at a time.  The only thing he doesn't have is his own cooking show.  Someone of this reputation could leave me feeling like a slacker.  But there's a back story with another character.

     Our guest grew up in grueling poverty within a family that really could not raise him well.  The odds were stacked against him, and the future looked as tough and grim as the past and present.  Then one day he wandered into a local store.  A conversation ensued with the shopkeeper.  God only knows what the woman saw in him, but she asked him to come back and see her daily for the next six weeks.  She then proceeded to teach him the practice of compassion, meditation, gratitude, and positive thinking.  It him put him on a trajectory more incredible than he ever could have imagined. 
     This man, as inspiring as he is, might never have become this man were it not for this anonymous-to-us woman who owned a store and took the time simply to talk with him.  She deserves to share the accolades of his work and successes.  What this woman's story, brief though it is, says to me, is that we never know when we are going to be a role model for someone else.  We never know when something we say drops like a seed in fertile ground and becomes an orange tree. 
     People listen and watch us more than we know.  And this is especially true of children.  So let us be mindful of our words, our actions, our character.  We don't have to be a brain surgeon to make a difference in another's life.  But by simply being the best of who we are, we could help to create one.

Pax tecum.

The Beginning of the World as We Create It

     On December 21, the rumor went, the Mayans predict the end of the world.  Remember?  I've been reading some new information about that.  Some of it seems to suggest that when they figured out how the cycle runs they just didn't bother to repeat it.  The calendar doesn't end so much as it has a coda.  But it is also the so-called dawning of the Age of Aquarius with a remarkable astronomical phenomenon which will take place when heavenly bodies line up in a way not to happen for another gazillion years.  While my jury is still out about astrology, I'm a believer in energy.  Does the moon afffect the tides and our emotions?  Is Reiki any stranger than Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle?  Western science and ancient healing practices all seem to be converging in their ideas of energy as life force.
     Collective consciousness is a form of energy.  How many of you read or listen to the news?  What you are consuming is certainly information, but it's not the only information there is.  It is the information that sells.  But if that is all we consume, our collective consciousness creates an energy that supports a fear-based world.  Here's news you may not have heard:  

• Belo Horizonte, Brazil ended hunger in its city because it chose to regard food as a human right.  And it is engaging local farmers to help.
• Farming community Wildpoldsried, Germany produces 321% more energy than it needs and is generating $5.7 million in annual revenue, all by choosing to go as green as possible.   
• 17-year-old Angela Zhang's after school project could lead to a potential cure for cancer. 

Imagine our collective energy if these were the lead stories, and war and corruption were relegated to small items in the backwater of the media.  The world could be heaven on Earth.
     So rather than think of December 21 as the end of the world as we know it, you are invited to think of it as a beginning.  Set aside some time to contemplate, write, or create a ritual as a way to lead you into the world as you imagine it.  What do you want to see?  How do you want to be?  How can you co-create with others?  If you need some inspiration, let me direct you to servicespace.org.  I'm volunteering with them, and let me tell you, the world is a beautiful place there!  Please visit it.  Then raise a glass with me and toast the Mayans on "New Age's Eve."

Pax tecum.

Faith over Fear Part One

     What is your life about?  What are the core values?  What do you want it to mean when it is done?  I ask myself these questions on a daily basis.  The answers are easy:  I want to be of service, I want to lead a more prayerful, mindful life, and I want to be wildly philanthropic.  I can't think of a more delightful way to pass my mortal hours than making someone's life a little lighter, putting more wholesome energy into the world, and supporting the work of others to make the world a better place.  This is no Miss America acceptance speech;  I mean it, down in the bones of my soul.  My life is about service through writing, teaching, facilitating, speaking, prayer, and philanthropy.  I want to use these gifts so much it hurts.
     At the same time, I have to pay bills; I want to participate in society.  That takes money.  Problem is I've never been comfortable holding down a job.  Nine to five, office politics, commuting--all of this just drains me, and it never really allows me to fulfill my mission unless I do that in my spare time.  Such a life is not for me, despite the fact that I have spent years doing it.  It seems such a waste.  I love "working."  I want to be supported through my work. I hate holding down "jobs."  But I've sacrificed my gifts and desires in order to make money.  I've given up my Life to do life.  
     Exactly two years ago I quit my job, expecting my dream to come true in a flash.  Instead my life went haywire.  The paid work I intended to do did not pan out.  Money was running short.  I was swinging from inspiration to abject terror on a regular basis.  I knew what I wanted to do, but how could I pull in the money?  Stay the course...no, get a job...no, stay the course....  I drove myself to distraction and anguish.  How do I get this to sync up?  But in that chaos and pain, here's what I learned:  When I was able to still the fear, things began to flow.  While the "jobs" I pursued evaded me, money came to me in the nick of time in the form of gifts and unexpected work.  
     Another such financial precipice was looming before me recently.  Not knowing how I would get through the next few months, I finally surrendered and sent up a prayer a few days ago saying, "I'm going to trust that things will work out.  I've got my passions for a reason, and holding down a job I don't really want interferes with fulfilling my mission even if it is taking care of me financially.  God, you have to figure this out for me, because I cannot."  And despite not knowing how this would play out, I let go of the fear, the confusion, the waffling, and I trusted.  I chose to live my Life on my terms.  I chose to be at peace.  A few days later, I unexpectedly received some inheritance money that will allow me to do all of the above for the next three months!
   This is the fifth time some work or monetary gift has come out of nowhere to help me.  Once is an interesting phenomenon.  Twice is a coincidence.  But five is a pattern, and it's trustworthy.  I don't know what will happen three months from now, and I am beginning to believe that's not my problem.  Until the end of February, I will be living my dream life, serving wherever I can, being philanthropic, developing a deeper contemplative and prayer-filled life. Because when God answers a prayer, I am obliged to fulfill my end of the bargain.
     To lead the life of our heart's desire requires us to let go of fear in order for the Universe to work with us.  We read this in many different spiritual traditions:

• In Zen Buddhism we find in the Five Mindfulness Trainings - I will practice coming back to the present moment to be in touch with the refreshing, healing and nourishing elements in me and around me, not letting regrets and sorrow drag me back into the past nor letting anxieties, fear, or craving pull me out of the present moment. 
• From the Christ's Sermon on the Mount - Do not be anxious about your life, what you shall eat or what you shall drink, nor about your body, what you shall put on.  Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 
• From the Five Precepts of Reiki - Just for today I will be free from worry.  
• In Mary Baker Eddy's "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures" - Always begin your treatment by allaying the fear of the patients.  Silently reassure them as to their exemption from disease and danger.  Watch the result of this simple rule of Christian Science, and you will find that it alleviates the symptoms of every disease.  If you succeed in wholly removing the fear your patient is healed.

This fascinates me.  These very different traditions all point to fear as that which separates us from our higher self, from wholeness, from fulfilling our purpose, from God.  So now I want to live my life as an experiment.  If I follow my heart's desire to be of service, to be philanthropic, to lead a more contemplative and prayerful life, does God provide the means?  It certainly seems so.  I deeply believe it is time to let go of my faith as an intellectual construct and give it breath and blood.  One does not live an extraordinary life by being conventional or buying into fears.  I don't know what my prospects will look like three months from now.  I no longer have to.  In the next three months, I will live the life I have longed for, in service, in peace, in congruence with my beliefs and values.  I'll let you know how it goes.

     If you could reduce your fear, how would you spend your life's energy, your gifts, your time?  I'd love to know.  Let me invite you to comment here, and share support and inspiration with others.

Pax tecum.

Share Your Light, Not Your Oil

     Frequently I find myself thinking of service versus income.  As strange as that may seem to you, it is a real dilemma for me...and others as I have discovered.  We want to live a life of service, and while many can use our help, they haven't the means to pay for it.  So we do things for free or way below the amount needed to sustain ourselves.  We want to believe this is right, but it feels draining.  And yet to focus on how to make income feels as though we are putting the emphasis on the wrong driver. 
     But I may have had a breakthrough.  Recently I listened to a truly inspirational recording of a workshop about fulfilling our purpose.  In essence, it is imperative to live our purpose for the love of it, for the love of others, so everything can happen in the best way possible.  Otherwise things will be off kilter.  One participant asked where you draw the line between unselfish love and being a doormat or martyr.  "Yes!" I shouted to the laptop.  "That's what I want to know, too!"  The speaker, Chet Manchester, then gave this quote:  "Share your light, not your oil."
     When we really are fulfilling our purpose, God or the Highest Good is working through us, and that light is what we share.  But when we give too much of our time or energy, when we begin to feel exhausted, we can be sure we are giving of our oil because our divine nature has mingled with our ego.  We give from our need to feel valued, or an overdeveloped sense of guilt or responsibility.  We grow to resent others or hurt ourselves, and then there is no way to sustain our light.  You know what this feels like: someone sucking the marrow out of your bones.  Or indeed, you feel like you are the one dependent upon another's energy to feed you.  To be absolutely clear, we all occasionally need the help of others.  And that is indeed a blessing because giving and receiving keep the divine energy in a gorgeous, meandering flow.  It's what makes the world go round.  But when need becomes a lifestyle choice it's time to take note and do something different both for our sake and that of others.
     Coincidentally I was sharing this with an acquaintance who said something powerful.  Quoting Bible, she noted that Jesus said, "Love your neighbor as yourself."  "You notice he didn't say more than yourself.  There has to be an equal respect between yourself and another."  I had never considered that before.  Mutuality requires appropriate boundaries.  Just as floodgates can open and close for the best use of water power, so “yes” and “no” do likewise.  Hearing “no” in response to a request, I must consider that another person or a wider perspective may better serve my need.  Saying “no” may be your way of teaching another how to fish.
     So keep your wick trimmed and your lamp full.  Then shine on, glorious Light.  Shine on!

Pax tecum.
    

Connecting in Chaos

     Sandy was quite a gal!  Since most of my readers are from Connecticut, I send out my hopes that you are well, warm, and safe.  By some grace or luck, my neighborhood escaped both damage and power outages.  My parents are shuttling between my home and my sister's since they are without power.  I have not been able to reach Supercuts the next town over for a haircut, so clearly their power has not been restored.  I have not heard back from a client in Bridgeport for whom I am supposed to start a job.  (These are not complaints but observations.)  Then I read that New York City is crippled.  Subway tunnels are flooded, the city is running out of gasoline.   I feel as though I am living in a dream while everyone else around me must feel they are living in a nightmare.  The disparity in fortune is mind-boggling.
     Lately John and I have mutually expressed our desire to live more simply.  But what we also discover is that the added benefit of this is the development of deeper and wider connections with others.  Simplicity cannot be about rugged individualism.  It must be about mutual support. We need less when we can share more.  When we offer a chain saw, a sofa to sleep on, or space in our garage we have cause to connect, to freely give to others what we have in abundance.  We participate in what is called the gift economy.  And nothing brings people closer together than that.  Whatever divisiveness we may have sensed in the upcoming elections seems to have yielded to more immediate needs and a concern for others on a local level.  Would that we could see each other across the country--or even across the county--as our next door neighbors and nurture that sense of connection all the time.
     This posting today will be brief.  In the face of this much upheaval there is little I can say that would have any use.  But I can offer a hot shower, a hot meal, and some company to those of you living in my area who might need something.  And if you are looking for something to do, just keep in mind that the Red Cross is in dire need of blood.  If you can make a donation, please consider it.  
     My prayers and love are with you all.

Pax tecum.

Saving a Life

     I'm sitting here typing with the tell-tale signs of an apheresis donor:  two red plastic bandages wrapped around my two elbows.  In this process platelets are separated from the rest of your blood.  Why platelet donations?  They are desperately needed for people undergoing chemotherapy for one reason.   It takes three pints of whole blood to make one donation of platelets.  And because this process is so complex, fewer people take the time or make the drive to the center to do it.
     The procedure is a little freaky.  You sit in a recliner with a syringe in one arm sucking out blood.  It goes through a machine that looks like something out of Lost in Space where the platelets are separated out.  Platelets are collected in a plastic bag where they take on the distinct look of egg drop soup.  The blood is then infused with saline solution to make up the volume, and pumped back into your other arm through another syringe.  For me the whole process takes 100 minutes, and I can donate two servings. 
     During this time you cannot close your eyes because the staff needs to know you are awake and activating your squeeze toy to keep your vein open.  To pass the time you watch a movie.  If I'm lucky I watch one of my choice, a comedy.  If I'm not lucky, I watch what some guy requested which usually includes evil doings, violence, and a woman dressed in little more than lingerie.  I don't like being upset during a donation, preferring that my blood is as free from adrenaline as possible.  When I'm faced with the movies I dread, I just stare at the walls and try to meditate with my eyes open.
     Since you can't use your arms, you can't read, write, or even scratch your nose.  But the wonderful staff is very accommodating and will rub your nose with a piece of gauze if you need it.  Or, as in my case today, dry your eyes as you sit there weeping over some happy ending in a feel-good flick.  You don't get to eat or drink.  However, the chemical in the needle that is used to keep your blood from clotting can cause side effects:  itchy nose, dry mouth, numb lips, sleepiness, or nausea.  The cure?  Tums!  Just ask for them--regular or sugar-free--and you can have all you want.  They work like a charm.
     When it's all over you get to have a free lunch of your choice, beverages, snacks, and sometimes a thank you gift like a free oil change or gallon of ice cream.  I dread the T shirts though.  I had waaaaaay too many of those, and I rarely wear them.
     Does all of this seem really arduous to you?  It is.  Add to that the 45 minute drive up to the donation center, and I can devote half a day to this appointment.  It can be tedious as all heck.  Your arms ache, you fight drowsiness, and you are immobilized for almost two hours.  But then I think of a child undergoing chemotherapy who can't go out and play.  Or the middle-aged man who can't work because his cancer treatments make him too sick.  Then it doesn't seem so bad after all, and I remember why I'm doing this.  My first blood donation.  I was giving the standard pint of blood when a staff member asked what my type was.  "A positive. " "Good!"  she said.  "We were really low on that.  You're going to save someone's life today."  Her words hit me like a falling piano.  No amount of money, legislation, or good intentions can take the place of blood.  You have to open up a vein and share part of who you are with a total stranger.  Frankly, I can't think of anything more awesome than that.
     If you ever feel like you aren't doing much to save the world, let me invite you to come with me to the apheresis center in Farmington, CT.  And over the course of half a day, attached to freaky medical equipment, while snacking on Tums and watching a movie, you can actually save a life.  SAVE A LIFE!  Think about it.  How often do we get the chance to be brave and save a life?  This offer is real.  Contact me.  I'll get you through it.

Pax tecum