Being Vulnerable to Gifts

There's a line from James Taylor's, Baby Boom Baby, that I've been singing to myself a lot these days:  What do I do if my dream comes true?  We can spend so much time planning, worrying, and visualizing that when a long-awaited event actually happens we shrink back a step.  Uh oh.  Now what?

In my case I whipped out my credit card.  That was hard in this time of fiscal austerity.  But when the Universe handed me the gift of an opportunity, "no, thank you" was not an option.  Just a couple of days before I had sent up a prayer saying, "I need things to come into my life now.  I can't wait any more, and I'm tired of blocking them.  I am willing to let go of all the self-imposed limitations on my life.  I am open to receiving. " 

Acting upon my new-found courage, I reached out to two authors I admire.  We are merely acquaintances, but that was enough for me to send them my declaration that I was now pursuing a career in writing and ask for some advice.  I imagined prescriptions on how many pages to write daily, the useful e newsletters.  But noooooooo!  Two days later I got the first gift from one author which set my world reeling.  "You've got to go to writers conferences.  There's one in Cape Cod next week, and I'll be there."  My heart stopped for a few seconds.  I have been pinching pennies for some time as I go through this evolution.  I know how much conferences and hotels cost.  It was madness to think I should spend $400 and drive up there.  But resistance seemed like ingratitude.  So I signed up for a day and a half of courses and one night in a posh conference center on the Cape.  I cannot imagine what will happen when I get there, but something will.  If nothing else, I'm getting some really good seafood.

The second gift was from the author who just happens to be living the life I want.  I met her at a book signing and liked her instantly.  She responded to my email by saying some very comforting things and giving me her phone number, encouraging me to call her when I needed help.

Reaching past my inhibitions to ask for something is hard enough.  Saying "yes, thank you" is harder still because it propels me into the world at large.  I'm now vulnerable to gifts!  Who knows what else may befall me and how I shall have to respond?  But the logical conclusion to this line of questioning is what gifts might I bear for others?  Whose life might I step into at the right time in answer to their prayers with the gift they've been hoping for because I chose to step outside my own limitations?  I can't wait to find out.  And I promise to send postcards along the way!

Pax tecum.